Parenting is not at all an easy task. Sometimes it becomes overwhelming as well as demanding. As much as we want to be perfect in our parenting, mistakes become inevitable. But we can not realize it all the time. We have to be very much careful with our mistakes, as a little of them can affect our children’s overall development immensely. If we want to raise our kids properly, then we have to avoid these parenting mistakes.
1. YELLING AT OR GIVING PUNISHMENT:
Sometimes to vent out our anger and frustration, we do one of the unavoidable parenting mistakes by shouting at our children. According to new research, yelling can be as harmful as hitting. If we shout all the time, it will create fear and insecurity in the young minds. Out of fear, they will act as per our wish. But they will not learn to correct their mistakes. It would harm our relationship with them and affect their overall mental health. They would not rely on us to share their secrets, thoughts and experiences. In short, if we shout at them more often, it will cause stress and frustration in them. Incidentally, it may close the door of healthy communication with them. Yelling makes a child more aggressive. Gradually, he also becomes adapted to yelling. As a grown-up, he also takes the help of yelling to manage anger and frustration.
Physical punishment makes a child more aggressive and violent in nature. It makes the child stubborn and incidentally, he develops that negative habits for which we punish him. Basically, punishing children for any of his misbehaviour or indiscipline can be harmful.
ALTERNATIVES WE SHOULD FOLLOW:
we have to handle the situation with calmness. When children feel secured and loved, they listen to our words and it becomes easy to discipline them. If you feel angry, take a deep breath. Remember that if we raise our voice, it will make the situation worse only. We have to make them understand the consequences of his wrong-doings. Even we should not shout at our spouses in front of our children.
Instead of giving him punishment, give your child a hug and make him understand what you expect from him. Make him realize how it matters to both of you and your child. Healthy communication can solve anything. Most importantly, we have to discipline them without yelling or any kind of punishment.
2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION:
Lack of communication is a common parenting mistake that can result in serious consequences. Even though the children’s world is expanding, our attention, care, and kind words mean a lot for our children. Sometimes we don’t want to listen to our kid’s meaningless stories. Even when they want to share their experiences in school or details about their friends – we consider them as insignificant and don’t pay attention. Gradually they stop sharing their everyday experiences and happenings of their lives with their parents and eventually become lonely in their lives. Lack of proper guidance and suggestion makes them frustrated and follow the wrong steps.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO:
Whatever we are doing, we have to stop and listen to their words carefully when they are trying to tell us something. If we listen to them carefully, we will know what is going on in their minds and lives. We have to find out if they are facing any problem balancing studies, friends, teachers as well as the bullies in school. So at first, we have to listen to them patiently. Don’t jump into any conclusion before they have finished their accounts. We have to take consideration of their viewpoints to solve an issue. It would be better if we fix a special time only for listening to our children so that we can concentrate on them only.
3. TRYING TO BE FRIENDS:
Some parents think that being friendly with children is the most effective parenting style. But it’s not like that. Parents who try to befriend their children find it difficult to enforce rules. Children somehow manage to manipulate the parents to establish their own. On the other hand, if we share the accounts of our misery and frustration with them, they will be stressed. Study shows that kids feel happy and safe to stay within the boundary of parents’ affection and age-appropriate limitations.
WHAT WE SHOULD DO INSTEAD:
We can share our experiences and thoughts with our children to some extent. But the control should be on our hands. we should not share those bits of information that will stress them or their respect for us will be shaken. We should treat them as individuals with their own opinions and views. This will improve their self-confidence. So, in some cases, we can pose ourselves as “buddies” to our children. But whenever necessary, we have to be stern to impose the rules and standards.
4. LACK OF BALANCE:
Some parents want their children to be very strong and that’s why put them in hardships willingly. They think this will make them super strong. Some parents behave just like opposites. They become overprotective of their children. They cannot count on their ability and end with over pampering. This makes the kids powerless and less confident.
WHAT WE SHOULD DO:
To avoid these types of parenting mistakes, we should not impose our ambition or ideas on our children. Allow their intelligence and strength to grow on their own terms. We have to encourage them to think and act independently.
5. COMPARE WITH OTHER CHILDREN:
The most common parenting mistake almost every parent does is compare the kids with other kids. Every child is unique in his own way. Comparison with other children can lower their confidence and self-esteem and make them stressed. If we continuously compare them with others, at a certain point in time, they will stop making us pleased. As we ignore their achievement, they will grow a carefree attitude to us. Even comparing our two children can cause sibling rivalry which will be very disturbing for both of them.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:
Parents have to discover the strength and weaknesses of their children. Appreciate what they perform well – this will make them confident. Encourage to overcome their weaknesses, praise any little effort made by them. Our unconditional love and support will help them achieve the impossible.
Most importantly, we have to accept the fact that as we can’t be perfect parents all the time, our children can’t be perfect either. Therefore, we should stop doing the things that upset our children. Our unconditional love and support will help them to recognize their true potential. We have to let them grow happily. So, let’s admit our parenting mistakes and be closer to deal with them successfully.