Raising a healthy and happy child is the most challenging and the most rewarding job in the world. Yet, sometimes, we can not perform it with the diligence and devotion that we generally invest in a job. We blindly follow the age-old parenting strategy and parenting beliefs irrespective of their efficacy or relevance. We don’t consider the fact that this technology-driven generation needs a different parenting approach from the one our parents used for us. We have to discard the common misconceptions that can influence effective parenting and cause behavior problems in our children.
Effective parenting allows a child to be grown as a healthy, happy, honest, confident, compassionate, and responsible human being. It is the parents’ responsibility to foster a positive attitude towards life and the people around and instill a sense of gratitude in the children. Children can explore and discover their full potential when they feel loved and secured. On the other hand, wrong parenting strategy can make a child non-resilient, stubborn and irresponsible.
In my 11 years of parenting, I have realized that parents nurture some common misconceptions ( I had that too) that actually hinder the natural development and enrichment of a young mind. So, I want to share them with moms who are considerate, thoughtful and want to protect their children from developing anxiety, depression, and other mental problems.
COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT PARENTING
GIVE EVERYTHING YOUR KID WANTS :
As parents, we always want to see our children happy. It makes us crazy, and we want to shower our children with as many gifts and toys as we can buy. We often think that they deserve everything, and it is our duty to fulfill their wishes. Some parents who can’t spend much time with children try to compensate with expensive gifts. But, researches have proved that giving too many gifts and toys causes a negative impact on a child’s mental health.
If we give our children everything they want, they think parents have to obey their demands in every situation. In addition to this, they can’t differentiate between “ need” and “ want”. Consequently, they grow up without realizing the value of money. They remain unaware of the happiness which comes after a great effort or a long waiting. Most importantly, they don’t develop the sense of responsibility to earn something for themselves. Besides, they become overwhelmed with their possessions and can’t use all of them properly. As everything is available for them, they don’t learn to take care of their belongings. As a result, they grow unorganized and careless in nature.
At the same time, it is a wrong parenting strategy if you don’t allow your children to experience frustration. It is necessary to let our children handle negative emotions like depression and frustration. If we give in to their every whim, they won’t learn to control themselves.
I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR MY CHILD :
Most of the parents think they know what the children need better than anyone else. They don’t even care about what the child wants or thinks. This authoritarian parenting approach creates differences between parents and children. In many cases we expect our child to like the same things that we do. As a result, we engage him in activities he doesn’t like at all. We don’t want to know what is his interest or what makes him happy. Additionally, we want him to follow our rules without any question. This parenting strategy makes a child stubborn and rebellious.
On the other hand, if we consider our children’s opinions and needs, they grow up as happy and confident. It makes them trust the parents. Gradually, the bonding between parents and children becomes strong. When a child feels loved and secured, he develops a positive attitude to life.
I SHOULD ACT LIKE A FRIEND WITH MY CHILD :
: It is a common parenting belief among some parents that they should be their children’s friends. But this can actually interfere with effective parenting. You have to be close to your children, but not friends. As parents, we have to set the rules, guide our children, reprimand them for their mistakes, discipline them and at the same time provide all kinds of support to them. A friend can’t do this. Most importantly, when you start acting like a friend, there will be no discipline. They won’t respect your authority.
So, children can easily outsmart the parents to do whatever they want if parents cultivate this common misconception. Your role and responsibility as a parent will be at stake if you share your feelings and personal experiences with your children too much. We have to act like responsible adults.
MY KID IS TOO YOUNG TO LEARN :
Parents don’t want to realize the fact that children are way smarter than them. There is no such thing as “ too young to learn”. It hurts our ego to accept that our children are more advanced than us. Kids have their thoughts and views, and they develop themselves so rapidly that we sometimes can’t imagine. From birth, they are observant and try to understand the world around them. If we avoid their questions by assuming them ignorant, it will affect their development.
Moreover, we have to forget our ego and allow our children to grow their own perspectives. We have to appreciate their accomplishments. It would help them in making the right decisions at the right moments. Our love, guidance, and acceptance will benefit them greatly to improve themselves. We can’t control everything, but teaching children what to do will motivate their learning and development.
In short, parents have to keep in mind that every child is unique, therefore, requires different treatment. All parents have to understand their children’s needs and behaviors. We should be willing to work hard so that we can handle everything in the best possible way. We have to be flexible to modify our parenting style by rejecting the common misconceptions. As a result, our love, trust, and dedication will make our children capable of sailing through all the adversities of life happily and confidently.