KNOW YOUR PARENTING STYLE:
Have you ever evaluated yourself as a parent? What is your position on a parenting scale? What parenting style do you follow? Most probably, we have never given a thought on it. We, Indian moms are so much concerned about our children’s well-being. We all want our children to be grown up as successful and responsible human beings. But we have to keep in mind that parenting and child development are highly correlated. Most importantly, our interaction with our children, the way we discipline them – all have an impact on our children’s personality, self- esteem and overall success.
However, in some cases, psychologists have found it difficult to relate certain behaviours of children with their parents’ actions. Sometimes, siblings, grown up in the same environment show opposite personality traits. In spite of this, psychologists have confirmed that parenting style affects child development immensely. In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind famously categorized the four parenting styles after conducting research with many pre-schoolers.
The parents who follow this parenting style are very much strict with their disciplines. They demand complete obedience from their children. For instance, they want their children to follow their rules and order without any question. Besides, they have high expectations from their children. They provide guidance, protection, nurture and everything children need. But there is a very small space for open discussion between the parents and the children. “Follow this, because I have said so!” – authoritarian parents always make this type of demand from their children.
2. AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING:
Authoritative parents also have high expectations from their children. But they share a warm relationship with their children. They are caring and protective. Generally, they follow strict discipline and rules. But at the same time, they discuss the positive effects of these with the children. Children are encouraged to share their opinion about everything.
3. INDULGENT OR PERMISSIVE PARENTING:
Indulgent parents behave like friends with children. They are very much liberal in terms of rules and discipline. They are warm and loving and give permission to everything the children want to do. Therefore, they have very few demands from their children
4. UNINVOLVED PARENTING:
Incidentally, some parents are just indifferent to the responsibilities of the parents. They provide the basic needs of the children but they have very little communication with them. They don’t give any support and guidance to the children and consequently have no expectations from them.
So we can easily realise how different these four parenting styles are in terms of disciplining and nurturing the children. An analysis of every style shows the impact of parenting style on our children’s behaviour and overall mental health. As I have said earlier, what works for one parent can be proved extremely futile for another. But an insight into the analysis can be beneficial in rearing up our children.
HOW PARENTING STYLE AFFECTS CHILD DEVELOPMENT:
- Authoritarian parenting causes obedience and submissiveness in the children. The children become dependent and sometimes suffer from depression and anxiety. They are inconsistent with their academic results.
- Children with authoritative parents have high academic achievements. Parents’ involvement leads the children to perform better in school. They have good emotional control and have high self-esteem. As a result, they are confident and disciplined. Their logical thinking and analytical power develop from an early age.
- Consequently, as a result of indulging parenting children face problems with authority and discipline. As their parents have not set any strict rules or guidelines, they usually make poor decisions. They can’t set the limits in their habits. Sometimes it causes poor academic performances in children.
- Uninvolved parenting is the worst for children. Children lack self-confidence and self-control due to this type of parenting. They have no goals in their lives. Lack of motivation and proper guidance make them aimless in life. They are generally poor performers.
WHICH PARENTING STYLE IS BEST:
Psychologists have given importance to the authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parents are strict but they modify rules if necessary. Especially, they encourage children to participate in decision making and to think about the reason behind the rules. Above all, as they are warm and responsive, their children become happy and content. They set high expectations from the children and most of the cases their children become able to fulfill that.
However, no parenting style is universally applicable. Cultural factors and sometimes children’s temperament also play as important factors in their upbringing. In the 21st century, children are struggling to cope with the pressure of their school, music, dance, sports, academic tuitions as well as other activities. On one hand, some parents are pushing their children to race in the competitive world. On the other hand, some millennial parents are keeping their trust in “slow parenting”. They want their children to enjoy their childhood and to explore the world in their own terms. They think when the children are happy and stress-free, they will be confident enough to realize their true potential.
In brief, we cannot overlook the cause-effect relationship between parenting and child development. In this digital age, we have to be strict and consistent with certain rules while bringing up our children. We have to make our children understand the consequences of rules and disciplines in their lives. After all, they are just kids. It is our duty to guide them to be healthy matured adults.