Yesterday my cousin Anjali called me up and started crying inconsolably. On the previous day, she had an argument with her 15- year- old daughter. Anjali is a dedicated mother who had given up her career to take care of her children. But now she has a feeling that she is not getting enough appreciation for her sacrifice and everybody has taken her for granted. Children are now grown-ups and they have their own opinions on everything. They think that it is mom’s duty to get everything ready for them just in time. As a result, they often forget to show gratitude to mom for always being there for them. Anjali’s problem forced me to go to the root of the stay at home mom depression.
CAUSES OF DEPRESSION IN STAY AT HOME MOMS:
- All the responsibilities of bringing up the children come upon the moms. Everyone in the family thinks that mom has nothing to do except taking care of her child. It leads to a feeling of loneliness and isolation in the moms.
- Stay at home moms have to take care of all the household chores and everyone expects everything to be done in time. As if, it is her sole responsibility to keep the home as picture-perfect.
- The worst part is that sometimes our husbands also think that we have enough time to spend as per our wish. So, either we enjoy the tv-shows or keep ourselves busy with our mobile phones the whole day.
- Gradually the children also start thinking that moms do nothing important and take mom for granted.
- Some moms get bored with the same household routines and responsibilities and feel guilty of not being a worthy contributor to the society. Moreover, financial dependence sometimes causes stay at home mom depression.
- Those who have left jobs always miss some me time, own peer group, outing with colleagues, office parties and sometimes just getting ready for office.
However, the reason for stay at home mom depression can be different in every case. But we can fight it back successfully. First of all, we have to set our priority. We have to think carefully about what is important for us. If we really want to be a hands-on mother for our children, if we want to experience every bit of our motherhood we have to be consistent with our decision. We have to keep in mind that, by being around our children during their growing period we can make a great difference in their lives. To keep depression at bay, we stay at home moms can follow some steps.
HOW TO MANAGE DEPRESSION:
CREATE OUR OWN GROUP:
We have to develop a friendship with another stay at home moms or like-minded people. We can hang out with them occasionally, watch a movie together or plan a dinner with them. We must have at least one friend with whom we can discuss our problems.
GROW THE HABIT OF READING:
In the age of internet, we have given up our habit of reading books. We can easily refresh ourselves with our favourite women’s magazine or some storybooks. If we want to upgrade ourselves we can go through science journals.
SPEND TIME IN SELF-CARE:
We moms always ignore our own healthcare and remain busy working for the children. This left us frustrated and exhausted sometimes. After having an appointment with our favourite salon or spa, we can get energized again. We should pamper ourselves on a regular basis to get ourselves refreshed and rejuvenated.
PRACTISE YOGA OR EXERCISE:
By practicing yoga or exercising regularly we can keep ourselves healthy and stress- free. A healthy body will help us to remain energetic and enthusiastic for the whole day.
BE SMARTER THAN BEFORE:
Children want their moms to be smart in every way. We are their first teacher. If we can handle all their queries smartly and confidently, they grow a sense of respect and faith in us. It will make them share their every little doubts and belief with us. To make this happen we have to be in learning mode always.
WORKING FROM HOME:
Juggling with innumerable household works incidentally makes stay at home moms expert in multitasking. We can be a part of our children’s everyday routine as well as can make money in so many ways by working from home. We can make a big difference in our children’s academic performance by staying with them all the time at the same time can start working.
BRUSH UP THE SKILLS WE HAVE:
Stay at home moms can learn short term professional courses to upgrade their skills and make them job-ready. Those who want to go back to their jobs one day can brush up their skills by doing some job oriented online courses.
GIVE CHILDREN SOME RESPONSIBILITY:
Finally, we have to teach our children empathy and the value of labour from an early age. If we assign them some light household chores to do on their own, it will make them responsible. Making the table ready before dinner, tidying up own study table and something like these should be in their to-do list. They will never take mom for granted when they realize how much effort it takes to complete a task perfectly.
Most importantly, if we sacrifice our careers for our families, we should do it happily. If we become confident about whatever we are doing, depression can not intrude on our mood or in our life. After all, we are responsible for our children’s well-being. If we want them to make us proud by their achievements and deeds we need to be a little more thoughtful and considerate.
Moreover, there are endless ways with which stay at home moms can engage themselves and fight with depression. So we should not feel guilty about our stay at home mom status. If we want, we would be able to enjoy the best of both worlds.
To fight your depression, connect to the moms around the world with wonderful tips in The Ultimate Sanity Saving Guide For Moms.