Understanding our children is the most important thing we should learn first as parents. Every child has a unique personality trait that determines how he would react in certain situations. Most of the time, we fail to understand this while guiding and nurturing them as they grow and mature. Eventually, our actions and words contribute to the list of things that upset our child instead of providing the mental strength he needs to be developed. Our objective should be providing our children with a secure and strong foundation from which they would venture out into the competitive and complicated world. Parental warmth, unconditional love, and control in a positive way make them prepared to cope with various challenges of life.
Therefore, it should be our priority to ensure that our children build inner strength and courage to face every situation in life with the right attitude. But if we make our kids upset often with our behaviours, it can lower their confidence level. Here is a reminder of what kinds of things upset your child and how to avoid them successfully.
1. LACK OF ATTENTION:
Entangled in our daily routine and responsibilities, sometimes it becomes difficult for parents to give children undivided attention. But, all children want undivided attention from their parents. If we don’t listen to them or don’t notice their insignificant activities carefully, they might feel ignored and become upset. Buying them expensive gifts or taking them to an exotic travel destination once a year can not compensate for our lack of interaction. They would feel unloved if we do not spend quality time with them.
HOW TO SOLVE:
Listening to their meaningless stories, doing small things together, having a conversation on funny little things can make kids feel that they are important in our lives. Spending time together by listening, talking, laughing, and sharing experiences is the most important thing parents can do so that kids don’t become upset.
As parents, we want to raise our children as independent, strong, and confident. But, in spite of all our best intentions, sometimes we destroy their confidence by discouraging them. Too much criticism is harmful to our kids. Ignoring his good works and achievements is one of the most psychologically damaging things parents do that upsets the child very much.
WHAT TO DO:
Parents can make their children happy by praising their good works and their little efforts to achieve something. Rewarding them for their achievements can motivate them to perform better in the next tasks. Our appreciation and encouragement will help our kids to overcome the failure and make them confident to take the next challenge.
As a parent, you should be well aware of what kinds of things upset your child. Your overprotectiveness can make your child unhappy. When restricted from exploring the world in their own terms, kids get upset. Strict rules that stop them to be creative or solve problems on their own, make a child disappointed and sad. Eventually, they become dependent on parents and fear to take risks in life.
HOW TO GET RID OF IT:
Follow the authoritative parenting style and allow children to be independent in thinking and problem-solving. Have faith in their ability to handle any situation in their own style. An age-appropriate approach can make the child happy, confident, and successful human being.
4. CRITICIZING IN FRONT OF OTHERS:
Criticizing a child in front of others for his wrongdoing can damage the child’s self-esteem. Criticism makes him feel embarrassed and the child gets upset. Similarly, we should not make fun of their sufferings or bring up their failures in front of others.
HOW TO AVOID:
We have to make the child understand his mistakes with love and care. Correction of his mistakes or wrongdoings and giving him the right direction should be done in such a way that child’s feelings don’t get hurt.
5. RULES WITHOUT REASON:
Imposing their ideas and rules, is one of the most common things parents do that upset a child. When parents can not trust the ability of the children, they try to control them. We have to guide our children instead of controlling them. The authoritarian approach of parents and the enforcement of rules without reason can upset a child very much.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:
There should always be space for open discussion between parents and children. We can gain our children’s trust by encouraging them to participate in decision making and understand the reasons behind the rules. A happy parent-children relation will be established in that way.
6. PARENTAL PROBLEMS:
Children of all ages become highly affected when they watch their parents fighting. Children get upset when they see parents are arguing and yelling at each other. Studies have found that children who face parental problems suffer from depression and anxiety. In many cases, children whose parents are divorced, develop a negative attitude towards life. Additionally, kids who experience parental conflict a lot, remain upset all the time and have a problem to adjust with other children in school.
HOW TO SOLVE:
Keep yourselves away from arguments in the presence of your child. If the situation gets out of control, make your child understand later that disagreement between family members can happen but you are still a happy family. Finally, if you can’t control the conflict then seek help to reduce it. To raise your child healthy and happy, make necessary changes to your relationship.
7. COMPARING WITH OTHERS:
If a child is continuously compared with other children around, he can develop self-doubt and inferiority complex. Every child is unique and different. Comparing with others can upset the kids and create a lasting impression in their minds. They become demoralized and lose the interest to perform better.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:
We can not inspire our kids by comparing them with others. Instead, something like “you can do it” or “ I have faith in you” from the parents can do wonder for children by upgrading their self-confidence. A confident child would be able to handle failures in life and achieve success. To reach their greatest potential our children need our support and acknowledgment.
Therefore, the regulation of our emotions is very much important to develop a healthy parent-children relation. As we are the role model of our children, our emotions influence the children’s development and behaviour a lot. We have to provide them love, nurturance, warmth, and care in such a way that they become equipped with the necessary mental strength and confidence to face the challenges of life. We have to be compassionate as well as consistent, steady as well as reliable to avoid upsetting our kids and enjoy guilt-free, happy parenting.